Sunday, August 19, 2007

A Solution for Your Rejection Letters...

Current mood: amused
Category: Writing and Poetry

Currently on my IPOD: Jagged Little Pill: Alanis Morrisette

Not that I'm jaded.. Just got this idea from a friend and thought it would be fun...And yes, this is a re-post from my Myspace blog...

This one's for you Tex.

Dear Agent XYZ,

Thank you for posting a web site announcing that you are now accepting queries in the following categories: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Childrens Fiction, Young Adult, Everything in-between and Non-Fiction. As you may already know, I am very selective about the agents I choose to query. My projects take up lots of my time, make me sweat, drink heavily and often have me considering the state mental facility as my next home. I have ignored family, friends and chosen a solitary state of mind (other than the voices that speak to me) in order to write the novel that I should be sending you.

As you might guess, this leaves me very little time to go through agent listings and I must seek out the brightest, most tenacious and good looking agents that I can find on the internet. And as a bonus, your website must be spectacular in order to catch my attention.

In your case, I must say, although you have piqued my interest with your website and the list of clients you have posted, I have to take a pass. Even though I am choosing not to query you at this time, this does not mean you're not good enough, or not even a real human being, it just means you are not on my personal "A" list of agents. So carry on with your work, as I am sure you will find a best seller among your slush pile, it just won't be me this time.

Please feel free to query me regarding my works after I have made the NY Times Best Seller List or you can take a look at a sample of my works on the website: www.yeahright.comma

Thank you for not sending me hate mail,

Ms. Jaded Writer

Yours in Laughing my Astericks Off, Licking Envelopes for Rejection Letters to Come and Luckless Writing,


1 comment:

Travis Erwin said...

Don't you remember the trouble this post got you in last time?