Suppositions

Current mood: chipper
Category: Life Good afternoon,

On my IPOD right now: What if God Was One of Us

You suppose that the world is exactly how it should be, mostly on a daily basis, right? Maybe this is what should be happening to us despite the shit that we all face, right? Yet, there is a twinge of the what-if lingering, jonesing in your face to get you out of this overly righteous self servitude's world.

I am there. I feel as though a couple of years is never going to be enough to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life, but a few years spent living a life of suppositions is enough to show me the way to the home I have always wanted.

Two years ago I began to write, about this time of year, on a subject that was extremely painful for me. A novel came out of it, and although I have not sold it and probably never will, I can now say that it is done. It is on a shelf, emotionally and physically, but it is done. Actually, it was done a while ago. For now, I am working on a second one. But at the time, I had no idea that just a mere trip down a bumpy road would lead to where I am sitting at the moment...That I would be ruminating my thoughts here, on a laptop computer, about an article I need to write, the book reviews that must be read and written, a layout for a lit zine, and the plot to my second novel.

Two years is a short span in the life of an average gal. Never, ever take a short hello or a connection that is made somewhere in your path for granted. The people you meet everyday, even the ones whom you think to yourself, you would never say hello to, the ones whom you might even feel a tad bit sorry for, might just offer a little something to enrich your life.

Right?

So, what this leads me to is that the world is not always as it seems to be. How cliche' for me to say this. But, lately, I have made some serious connections with friends, writers, doctors, homeless wanderers, and people from far away places such as Ghana that I would have never thought to have made before I started writing. Each of them with unique stories to tell, lives that have been led in utter peril, and talent that reaches far beyond what I would ever hope to be able to tap into.

Look at it through my eyes. Everyone is research for the next big character, everyone is a study in the human psyche. Everyone, if you look hard enough has talents that are lingering inside of them. So, is this world as one dimensional as the evening news likes to make us think it is? Bad vs Good, Terror vs Complacency, Beauty vs Frail, weak and ugly?

Stop.

Look at what is going on and you might just see it through my eyes, that we should suppose that it is all okay. We should suppose that our story is going to be written differently in the end than that of our original thoughts and plots. For the original thought of death without living is just that, dead.

Your life does not have to continue on the straight corn-field highway type you would find in Iowa. Try to take the curved road with the steep climbs leading to a descent with out your brakes on. Let it get out of hand, but in a good way. Rely on your friends, family, those whom barely even know you for encouragement. And always remember that there are ramps for the runaway thoughts, cars and troublesome pains that may get in your way.

Suppose nothing, live for everything.

Yours in Something Else, Starting Over, and Smiling for You,


Cicily