Sitting In My Boring Room

Current mood: anxious
Category: Blogging

Currently on my IPOD: The Guy that Says Goodbye: Griffin House

Good Afternoon My Sweets,

How are you? I am sitting in my room, you know, the one with the books, table and computer, and writing to you regarding what is going on in my life. Of course you want to know. Well, maybe not, but from my point of view, I need to get this out otherwise I might explode.

There is the isolation of the moment giving me a clarity of thought process I don't normally get. My writing is going about as well as the tree-money venture. The novel is at a stand still. It has been for a few days and anytime I get discouraged with the writing, I get grumpy. I want a yellow sun, clear thoughts and a well-defined sense of where to go from here. But it isn't coming. Patiently I will await for the right moment, but that moment is elusive, at best, regarding its ETA. Oh, and I got two rejections today, maybe this is why I feel like crying. I have thicker skin but when the rejections come with the other whammies in my life they seem almost too much to bear.

My health is not good. I feel okay, maybe a little depressed more than anything, but the doctors say otherwise. There is a chance that I might have that C word. I am holding on to hope, as it is the only thing the doctors have given me. (Sorry to get all melodramatic) I had more testing today and we shall see where it leads. AT this point I would rather be at work then running too and fro with CT scans, blood work, etc.

Maybe if I closed my eyes for a minute, and all of you close your eyes with me we can have a moment of pure peace and today would not happen, today would just become a viscous memory in my mundane life. I won't give up, I never do. Even after what happened earlier this year. I plan on going to NY this winter to try to sell the book. Please root me on...I must get it completed regardless of what my fate has in store for me, as I truly believe my fate is resting on much more than someone's initials of MD...

Reach out and touch someone, hug them, kiss them, tell them you love them and have them touch someone else and eventually the chain will get to me and I will feel all of you sending your good vibes to me. I need this desperately. I don't want to sink down into the seething gallows in my mind.

Off to read something humorous for the afternoon while waiting on the doc's phone call.

Writing right now would be futile.

Thank you.

Yours in Worrying, Writing and Wondering Why,

Cicily