Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Foghorn in the Night

Quote of the Day:
There are two mistakes one can make 
along the road to truth....
not going all the way and not starting.

Current Local Weather:
Just warm enough to forget the coldness of 
my life and start over.

Currently on my iTunes:
"Into the Mystic"
Van Morrison

Dear Friends, Family and my Family of Friends, 

      A bit of news. 
       I recently kicked some ass. 
      The ass I speak of is Acute Myeloid Leukemia. I'm in remission. If I'm being honest with you, I have to say I didn't, at least at first, expect to make it to the other side of cancer. But I did. I did it with a massive outpouring of love, medicine, poisonous chemotherapy and prayers/healing energy. I am still writing thank you notes...I've been writing them for months now. 

      So....now what? 
      I have this thing called recovery that I have to tend to everyday. It's a bitch, too. I want to go outside and play but my body is still very slow to start...it's like a car out of gas in the middle of winter. I sleep a lot, text a lot with my lovely BFF Lisa and occasionally get up and out to see a doctor.

      Then what? Work. I'm continuing to read manuscripts and edit. But there is something else I want to do. I want to live more purposefully. I want to live with more truth and honesty than not. I want to LIVE. I want to finish this life game with glitter guns shooting in the air not because I had the most friends or money (although some would be nice...) but because I did everything with love and purpose. I want to sail into the Mystic, just as Van Morrison is singing in my ears, with the foghorn blowing as I come home. But this isn't just a home, it's heaven. 


I have no more fears as everything I've ever feared, other than the occasional spider, has dissipated. I am going to rock more days than not and face life with a renewed spirit and greater love for those in my life. 

If you were one of the people that supported me during my year of hell, bless you for walking into the unknown with your head held high, even if mine wasn't. If you were there holding my hand, especially those that traveled far to be there or physically carried me around, my hand is forever yours and my heart will have your name carved into it. Thank you ALL for giving me a life in which I will live with more purpose and love for everyone that comes into it.

Thanks especially to the following folks: My folks, Wayne, for giving me a sense of normalcy and checking on me more than anyone else; Seamus and Bill, I'll never forget your love and friendship; Tim, I still can't say thank you enough;  Jason and Jen....there are no words sufficient enough; Jessica, you are an angel; Karen...thank you for every second you spent on me;  Lisa...forever your sister and Niki, for traveling for a thousand or so miles to hold my hand for a day or two; Matt for keeping me distracted; Keith &Amy for bringing me a dose of real food and smiles; Heather for knowing and understanding; Shannon for sending love via packages and facetime; My children for being brave and loving me through it all;  Tina, for coming to visit and bringing me fun things to do; CBCI, without you I wouldn't be here.

I'm home to stay for now. I've heard that foghorn and the road is now clear. I can say with great certainty that the sun is shining on us all. 

Yours in Kicking Ass, Living on the other side of a cure and feeling blessed beyond words,


1 comment:

jazzfemme said...

You are an inspiration, Cicily Janus! Take good care of yourself and keep KICKING ASS!!! I love you to the moon and back ;-)